Written by : Registered Educational Psychologist, Pang Chi Wah

Many parents lament that in the past, interactions with neighbors were more frequent. Perhaps there were fewer places to live, but there were larger communal spaces, allowing for daily interactions with neighbors. Parents used to entrust their children to neighbors, and could borrow necessities from them when in need, resulting in very happy relationships!

However, in the modern living environment, there may be many people living in the same building, but the likelihood of interacting with each other is much less than before. People no longer share food or take care of each other’s children. Perhaps everyone is busy with work, spending all their energy during the day, and they have no time to develop deep relationships with neighbors after work or on holidays.

Nowadays, many couples without children can live this way, but once small families have children, parents need to deliberately increase the frequency and form of interactions with neighbors. In fact, more and more families are finding that their children are becoming self-centered and disrespectful to others. It turns out that only children can become subjective and fragile because they rarely experience social pressures or conflicts during their growth, and they tend to avoid social interactions. Over time, their social desires and skills may not reach the standard expected for their age.

Some parents may want their child to have a sibling and consider having another child, but they must also consider the financial and emotional impact on the family. The simplest method is not just to let them have group social interactions at school, but to let the children build relationships with the neighbors’ kids. There is an old saying: “Distant relatives are not as good as close neighbors!” Neighbors can actually remedy the lack of peers in the family, just as only children in the past could practice the skills of interacting with siblings through their neighbors.

Toys in the 21st century can make children self-sufficient, eliminating the need for cooperation with others. Additionally, the younger generation of parents may have had limited interactions with neighbors during their own upbringing, and the frequency of visiting relatives and friends during holidays has also decreased. They might struggle to initiate conversations due to the lack of conversation starters, which is why it’s no surprise that the next generation is increasingly reluctant to interact with others.

In fact, young children can easily attract the attention of neighbors and serve as a key to breaking the ice. It’s best to choose neighbors with children as potential friends. Parents can start by simply smiling at the neighbor’s children. Even without verbal communication, this can leave a positive impression and convey goodwill, reducing unnecessary wariness. This can gradually lead to verbal conversations and the development of friendship over time.

During festivals such as Christmas, the Mid-Autumn Festival, or other holidays, parents can encourage their children to make greeting cards to express care towards their neighbors, providing the children with practical applications of their skills. Additionally, after a family trip, parents can buy some special food items for their neighbors. While it’s uncertain whether a gift will meet the neighbor’s preferences, food is generally easier to enjoy and can help maintain a good relationship with neighbors.